Whole Lotta "Meh." -- Wacky Chocolate Cake

Wacky cupcake.

I made this recipe sometime last week and, clearly, was so unimpressed with it that it took me this long to post about it. (And then, only do a cursory review.)

Cake Pros:
Ridiculously easy to make
Vegan
Easily adaptable (I threw in mini chocolate chips and replaced the water with strong brewed coffee

Silly Name

Cake Cons:
Lacking in delicious chocolate cake punch (though flavor was enhanced by the aforementioned chips and coffee)
Must be accompanied by a good frosting
Silly Name

And that's all I got to say about that.


Wacky Chocolate Cake
1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
1/4 cup unsweetened, nonalkalized cocoa powder
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 cup (7.5 ounces) granulated sugar
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1 tablespoon white or cider vinegar
6 tablespoons vegetable oil
1 cup water

Position a rack in the center of the oven and preheat to 375-degrees F. Lightly grease an 8-inch square pan.

Sift the flour, cocoa, baking soda, and salt directly into the baking pan, then add the sugar. With your finger, poke 2 small holes and 1 large one in the dry ingredients. Into one of the small holes pour the vanilla, into the other one the vinegar, and into the larger one the oil.

Pour the water over all the ingredients and stir the ingredients together with a table fork, reaching into the corners, until you can’t see any more flour and the batter looks fairly well homogenized.

Bake for 35 to 40 minutes, or until the top is springy and a tester inserted in the center comes out dry. Cool the cake in the pan on a wire rack, then cut and serve it from the pan.

Storage:Keep at room temperature, wrapped airtight, for up to 3 days; refrigerate after that.

Level of difficulty* [easy enough for a novice to make]

Makes one 8-inch square cake, or 8 to 12 servings.

RRC#2 Submission: Lime Honey Dressing

So appealing, don't you think?

The recipe for Lime Honey Dressing comes from the 1957 edition of Helen Corbitt’s Cookbook. Corbitt was the director of restaurants at the "famous" Neiman-Marcus store in Dallas. Here’s a partial description from the bookflap:

This Yankee-born authority on food is a truly creative cook and superlative party-giver. Earl Winston called her “the greatest cook in Texas.” The Duke of Windsor asked her how she made the Avocado Mousse she served him in Houston. Governors, politicians, college presidents, oilmen, and literary figures have for years requested the recipes for the superb dishes she created for Neiman-Marcus’ Zodiac Room.

Based on this recipe, I don’t know what all the fuss was about. It's dressing in theory: you know it’s there, but you can’t taste it. Even after I doubled the amount of lime juice, I could just barely detect a citrus flavor. Meh.

Hence, I’d serve this on an iceburg lettuce salad for a retro weenie roast: the titles of both just set you up for disappointment.

Lime Honey Dressing

1/3 cup lime juice
1/3 cup honey
1 cup salad oil
½ tsp. paprika
½ tsp. prepared mustard
½ tsp. salt
Grated peel of 1 lime

Blend all ingredients and keep in a cool place.

Grade: C

Paula Deen's Peanut Butter Bread

Oh, Paula.

We started off so well, and now... this.

Your recipe is so simple. It seems so wonderful, so comforting: a quick bread featuring peanut butter, a childhood favorite.

But this; this is "eh." Ok, warm out of the oven, smeared with jam or a bit of honey butter, yes, I had two pieces. But the next morning? Boring. Dull. Uninspiring.

Paula, honey – I threw the rest of the loaf out. (It landed with a heavy thud in the trash bin.)

I don’t want to fight again, Paula. I’ve been thinking about those gooey butter cakes you make – and you raaaaaaave about them – and I hope they really are good.

Because this isn’t. And I know you – no, we -- can do better.

Paula Deen’s Peanut Butter Bread

2 c. flour
1/3 c. sugar
1 tsp salt
1 Tbsp plus 1 tsp. baking powder
1 ½ c. milk
½ c. peanut butter.

Preheat oven to 375-degrees. Grease a 8x4x3-inch loaf pan. Combine dry ingredients, then stir in milk and peanut butter. Pour batter into pan and bake for approx. 50 minutes.

Grade: C

Homemade Marshmallows

Remember Martha’s old show, Martha Stewart Living? One day, she showed the audience how to make marshmallows.

That’s the same day I went, “OK. She’s officially lost her mind.”

Marshmallows never seemed like anything but a vehicle for other flavors to me. Dip them in chocolate: delicious. Mix them with butter and Rice Krispies: tasty. Shape them into little chicks and cover them with neon colored sugar ... well, if not great, then at least visually appealing.

But to make them from scratch seemed asinine. What, and put the Jet Puffed people out of business?

But now, years later, I find that marshmallows are no longer the understudy; they’re the star. Gourmet versions are popping up all over the place and, let’s face it, those damn snowflake ones Martha floats in her hot cocoa are attractive.

So here I am, making marshmallows.

It’s not a hard recipe, just time consuming. Like fudge, you have to cook the sugar over low heat until the crystals dissolve, washing down the sides of the pan with a damp pastry brush from time to time. That took a loooong time, but perhaps that’s because I cooked it over very low heat.

Once dissolved, the heat gets cranked up and you wait for the temp to hit 245-degrees F. Again, time consuming but not hard.

From there, the syrup is poured into the gelatin. Once that happens, a scent, not unlike wet dog, is released. (Hot wet dog. Like when your dog goes in the lake on a really humid day and, on the drive home, that damp musky smell stinks up the whole car.) Fortunately, after 15 minutes of whisking at high speed, the smell dissipates and you’re left with something akin to Marshmallow Fluff. I’m guessing that if you took that mixture and put it into an airtight container, it would remain soft. (I would have set a bit aside to experiment with that idea, but the thought occurred after I was finished.)

The cream poured fairly easily into a (disposable aluminum) pan with the help of a rubber spatula. I didn’t press it down with my hands; the spatula (sprayed with cooking spray) did a fine job smoothing out the top. Then, I sprinkled the top with powdered sugar and waited.

The next day they were ready to cut and eat. I found the cut sides to be a bit sticky, so I threw several in a paper bag with some powdered sugar and shook them. The sugar adhered to the sticky sides.

And the taste? Eh. They’re still marshmallows. They're fresher and less artificial-tasting than those you buy at the store, but in the end, nothing really special. They are good covered in chocolate -- melt in your mouth tender -- but most marshmallows taste good in chocolate anyway.

From a culinary perspective, I don't I see the point in making them from scratch. But as a science experiment, it is kind of neat.


Homemade Marshmallows

2 1/2 Tbsp. unflavored gelatin
1 1/2 c. granulated sugar
1 c. light corn syrup
1/4 tsp. salt
2 Tbsp. pure vanilla extract
Confectioners' sugar, for dusting

Combine gelatin and 1/2 cup cold water in the bowl of an electric mixer with whisk attachment. Let stand 30 minutes.

Combine granulated sugar, corn syrup, salt, and 1/2 cup water in a small heavy saucepan; place over low heat, and stir until sugar has dissolved. Wash down sides of pan with a wet pastry brush to dissolve sugar crystals.

Clip on a candy thermometer; raise heat to high. Cook syrup without stirring until it reaches 244-degrees F. (firm-ball stage). Immediately remove pan from heat.

With mixer on low speed, slowly and carefully pour syrup into the softened gelatin. Increase speed to high; beat until mixture is very thick and white and has almost tripled in volume, about 15 minutes. Add vanilla; beat to incorporate.

Generously dust an 8-by-12-inch glass baking pan with confectioners’ sugar. Pour marshmallow mixture into pan. Dust top with confectioners’ sugar; wet your hands, and pat it to smooth. Dust with confectioners’ sugar; let stand overnight, uncovered, to dry out. Turn out onto a board; cut marshmallows with a dry hot knife into 1 1/2-inch squares, and dust with more confectioners' sugar. Makes about 40



Grade: C (not really bad but what’s the point?)

This marshmallow was redeemed by chocolate.

Donna Hay's Caramel-Filled Biscuits

For the third Hay, Hay, It’s Donna Day! the challenge was to make cookies having two colors and two flavors – a very good challenge.

My choice, Caramel-Filled Biscuits with added chocolate, unfortunately, did not come out to my liking.

Here's my gripe: the cookie is buttery, sandy, and soft – like a tender shortbread. (If you’ve ever eaten a Mexican Wedding Cake, you’ll know what I’m talking about.) My mother makes something very similar at Christmas and it’s the one type of cookie that I completely avoid. The difference here is that the corn flour in the dough adds the occasional bit of hard corn meal, which seems to run counter to the rest of the cookie’s texture. Maybe the corn flour I bought wasn’t milled well enough.

The cookie is filled with a sweet caramel made from Sweetened Condensed Milk. The last time I used SCM, I had trouble getting past its cheesy smell. (You have to get very close to it to pick that up.) I ran into the same problem here. I know, however, that that is completely my problem. I had so much caramel left over that Shane ate it for dessert. And breakfast.

To combat these challenges, I threw in vanilla extract to both the batter and the caramel, but I don’t think it made any difference. What did change things was the melted chocolate I piped into and on top of the sandwiches. That’s my favorite part.

I’d like these a lot better if:
The caramel was omitted
The cornflour was replaced (with AP flour?)
The cookies were baked thinner
The cookie was filled and topped solely with chocolate, OR filled with a raspberry jam and topped with chocolate.


I’m looking forward to doing another Donna Hay recipe soon because they sound so good. (Honey and sesame prawn stir-fry? Yum.)

But I’m staying away from this one.

Donna Hay’s Caramel-filled Biscuits

Cookie:
2 sticks plus 2 Tbsp. unsalted butter, room temperature
1 c. confectioners’ sugar
1 ½ c. flour
1 c. cornflour
1 egg.
1 tsp. vanilla extract

Filling:
1 (14 oz.) can sweetened condensed milk
4 Tbsp + 1 tsp. butter
2 Tbsp. golden syrup (or light corn syrup)
½ tsp. vanilla extract

6 oz. semi-sweet chocolate

Combine the butter, sugar, flour, cornstarch, egg and vanilla in a stand mixer until a smooth dough forms. Roll tablespoons of the mixture into balls and place on lined baking trays. Flatten the dough slightly and place the trays in the refrigerator for 10 minutes or until firm. Preheat oven to 350-degrees F.

Bake the biscuits until lightly golden, 10 to 14 minutes. Cool on racks.

To make the filling, combine the condensed milk, butter, vanilla and corn syrup in a heatproof bowl and place over a pan of boiling water. Let cook 10 to 15 minutes until the caramel is thick, stirring occasionally.

Place chocolate into a microwave-safe plastic zipper bag (like Ziplock) and seal. Microwave at 30 second intervals at 30- to 40-percent power until chocolate is melted, mushing the chocolate between “zaps.”

Cool the caramel for 10 minutes (though it took mine much, much longer), then spoon onto the flat side of a cookie. Snip a small corner off the chocolate-filled plastic bag, and using it as a pastry bag, place dollops of chocolate the flat side of another cookie. Sandwich the cookies together and repeat. To decorate, drizzle chocolate on top of each cookie. Allow to cool and become firm before eating.

Yeilds 12 cookie sandwiches.


Grade: C (much higher if this is your kind of cookie)


Tags: cooking, baking, cookies, dessert, Donna Hay's Caramel Filled Biscuits